A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Me

Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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