A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops