why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Come right on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A very nervous looking black man walks into a bar full of white people, however, the white people are accepting of all races, so they invite him to sit next to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops