Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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