Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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alex is cool

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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Your mother is so fat that it became a problem affecting everyone close in her life. Her new year's resolution was to lose weight, and surprisingly, has become quite healthy since then.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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