Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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