My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops