Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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Why did Mary fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock, Whos there, Not Mary

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

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A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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wanna here a joke? you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops