What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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