hi michael

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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