What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Gay's

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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