Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Bitch

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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