The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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Bitch

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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