Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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