Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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