What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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zx

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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Q what's worse than Tori's singing A absolutely nothing !

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops