"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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A guy walks into a bar. I didn't see anything else.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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