2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Artic Storm.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops