Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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