What's the easiest way to make new friends? With Play-Doh.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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Badabing.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops