What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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a man walks into a bar and was arrested because it wasn't a bar it was a bank and he shot and killed 4 people during the armed robbery

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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Oh s***

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops