"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

a black guy walks into a black bar

What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

A dead guy walks into a grave.

What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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