ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Justin with a hat.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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If you dislike this you are a homosexual (watch how many dislike this)

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops