a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Once upon a time a was born

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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