Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When you have read this, you've already read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Face...tastes like chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops