What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Anyone can post anything.

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Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

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Cancer.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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