How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Tilt your screen back

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I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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I'm 4 and what is this?

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why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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