A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

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Gay republicans

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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A man walks into a bar. Then he buys a beer.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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