What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops