What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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SUCK MY NUTS

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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