How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops