Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Little goldy locks was walking through a forest and stumbled across a nice cabin. She went inside and ate some newly made porridge and slept on the various beds that were there. The owners of the house came back from a stroll of their own and sued her for breaking and entering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops