A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What is red? A rock painted red

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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alert('The Game')

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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