Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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hello juliano and guss. having fun?

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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what do you call a young man? a little boy

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops