While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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John lazzaro likes dick

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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Women can vote? WTF

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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How can you tell the difference between a black man and a white man? Quite easily actually.

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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