One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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Rush Limbaugh

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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that krista chich from the below joke accepted me as a friend, then she blocked me. haha WOW, she realy is a bitch.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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