What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

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what did the frog say to the plane HE NO CRY SO I CRY FOR HIM

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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