Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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cats are pussies

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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what happened to the asian who failed his math quiz... his parents killed him

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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I'm HIV positive.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops