How do you kill a Jewish person? You shoot him multiple times in the face

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Maths.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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my mind's eye?

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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