What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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Penis

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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Your sex life.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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Mahmy

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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