what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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