It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

#Getweird

Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

Your mother just died.

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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