Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Tough crowd tonight...

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Asian women drivers...

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops