A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

thumb_up thumb_down +1

no

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops