A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

no pun intended

why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

Julian Ha.

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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