Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops