A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops