What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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why did the girl fall off the swing? her dad threw a refrigerator jlr

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin. You already told her twice.

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You sick fiend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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