What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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