Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What shakes and twitches and can be found at the sea bottom? A scuba diver running out of oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -11

old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops