Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" Unable to understand English, the horse shits on the floor and leaves.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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The chicken crossed the road.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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silver bullet?

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A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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